Raising Kids Who Love the Church — Even When It’s Messy

When Church Isn’t Perfect… But It’s Still Worth It

Let’s be clear up front:

👉 If your church is toxic, unbiblical, manipulative, or misaligned with God’s Word — you are not called to stay out of guilt or obligation.

If something isn’t sitting well in your spirit, trust that prompting.
If red flags are waving and God is leading you elsewhere, follow that leading.

Your family needs a church that’s not just Christ-centered — but also safe, healthy, and aligned with truth.

Watch on YouTube or listen on Raising Faithful Families podcast.

This isn’t about ignoring abuse or tolerating dysfunction.
It’s about building resilience within a healthy, aligned church — one that, like every family, still includes imperfect people.

💬 So How Do You Help Your Kids Love the Church?

You trust your church. You feel called there.
But it’s still filled with humans — which means mistakes, misunderstandings, and even the occasional hurt feeling.

How do you help your children love the Church, when even you sometimes struggle with frustrations or disappointment?

The answer lies in this simple truth:

The Church isn’t a perfect place — it’s a gathering of imperfect people following a perfect Savior.

And that’s exactly what we get to teach our kids.

🛠️ Reframing What “Church” Means

In Scripture, the Church isn't described as a building.
It’s the people of God — the body of believers who live in community and follow Christ together.

So when we teach our children to love the Church, we’re really teaching them to:

• Love people, even when they’re hard to love

• Extend grace, even when it’s not earned

• Serve faithfully, even when it’s not flashy

Because Church isn’t a product to consume.
It’s a calling to walk out.

👀 What Are Your Kids Learning from You?

Our kids learn more from what we model than what we say.

If they hear criticism after every Sunday…
If they watch us disengage when something doesn’t go our way…
If they see us prioritize convenience over community…

They notice.

But if they see you:
✔️ Praying for leaders
✔️ Extending grace when someone says something wrong
✔️ Serving even when no one notices
✔️ Choosing forgiveness over gossip

That leaves a lasting impact, too.

Your posture toward the Church shapes theirs.

📖 Why God Designed Us for Community

Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us:

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together… but encouraging one another.”

The Church is God’s idea.
Not a man-made institution. Not a performance.

It’s where:

• We worship together

• We grow together

• We forgive each other

• We encourage one another

It’s messy — and still so necessary.

❤️ Equip Your Kids to Handle Imperfection

Here are three simple ways to build healthy, lasting love for the Church:

1. Talk About Imperfection Without Bitterness

Say things like:

• “That probably wasn’t the best approach, but we all make mistakes.”

• “God is still growing all of us — including me.”

Teach your children that grace doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay.
It means choosing love even when it’s hard.

2. Process Frustrations Together

Let your child express how they feel.
Then gently guide them back to truth — not toxic positivity, but Christ-centered clarity.

3. Model What It Looks Like to Reconcile

If you’ve been hurt, show them what forgiveness looks like.
If you’ve made a mistake, model repentance and humility.
Let them see that church isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being willing to grow together.

💡 Let Them Be the Church, Too

Instead of just going to church, help your kids be the Church.

Ways to do this:

• Let them help serve (greeting, kids’ ministry, etc.)

• Ask simple questions about the sermon

• Celebrate their spiritual milestones

• Encourage meaningful friendships

Kids who feel involved are far more likely to feel invested.

💬 Final Takeaway

Friend, the Church isn’t perfect.
But it’s still one of God’s greatest gifts to His people.

Your kids will see flaws.
They’ll encounter conflict.
They’ll feel frustrated at times.

But they’ll also learn to:
✅ Extend grace
✅ Seek truth
✅ Stay rooted in community

Because the Church is His.
And we are His people.

So let’s teach our children to love it with discernment — not blind loyalty, but faithful participation.

Because someday, they’ll be the ones helping to shape it.
Let’s give them a foundation that’s full of grace, truth, and unshakable love for God’s people.

✨ Want Help Navigating Faith & Family Together?

Inside The Calm & Confident Club, you’ll find tools and community support to raise secure, faith-filled kids — even in a noisy, imperfect world.

🎯 Join here: www.covenantcollections.com/club

Author

Katy Bordeaux is a Certified Parenting & Family Coach and the founder of both Covenant Collections and Kingdom Purpose Moms. Passionate about guiding families to thrive, Katy combines biblical wisdom with practical parenting strategies to help parents build strong, faith-filled homes. Connect with her for more resources and support on your parenting journey.

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