Messy day
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[00:00:00] You love your kids so much and still there are days where it just doesn't go well. You lose your patience. You raise your voice. You say something you wish you didn't say or you wish you could take back, and the guilt hits so hard. You've ended a day at some point where you've looked at your child sleeping and they look just so peaceful and so sweet, and you are just wrecked with how you handled something that day.
We've all been there, and you don't have to get it right every single time. I don't think we're even capable of getting it right every single time. But what matters the most is what you do next. And when you learn how to reset after a hard parenting moment, you don't just recover from it, you grow and so does your child.
Hey friend. Welcome back to Raising Faithful Families. I'm Katie Bordeaux, and today's episode is here for the Real Life moment. Not the picture perfect [00:01:00] days, the messy ones. The days where your nerves are shot, everyone's in tears, and you wonder if you actually have any idea what you're doing. I wanna remind you today that there is grace for you.
There is a path forward and it's never too late to reset. In this episode, we will walk through how to reset after a hard parenting day, a simple script to reconnect with your child and encouragement alongside biblical wisdom for your heart. So let's get into it first. Remove the shame you're human. You can't always get it right.
You don't have to be a perfect parent. To be a faithful parent, to be a good parent. You just need to be humble, willing, and connected. The most powerful parenting moments often come after the hard ones, and one of the greatest gifts that you can give your child is showing them how to own a mistake, how to ask for forgiveness and try again and do better.[00:02:00]
So let's talk about a simple family reset process for when the day has already gone off the rails. Step one, regulate yourself first before reconnecting with your child, take care of you. Ask yourself if you're even calm enough to reengage. Ask yourself if you need a moment to pray or breathe or go cry before you approach your child to reconnect.
Psalm 34 18 says, the Lord is near to the broken hearted. Let him meet you in that moment and let him fix you before you try to fix anything. Step two, acknowledge what happened. Approach your child with humility and honesty. Say something like, Hey, buddy, I didn't handle that really well. Earlier. I was frustrated.
I raised my voice and that wasn't okay. I'm really sorry. I want you to pay close attention to how that was worded because too many of us, we start that off really well and [00:03:00] then we, we go. I'm, I'm so sorry that I yelled at you, but you were, and then you just start, you tell them why you did what you did.
The key there is saying that wasn't okay. I'm really sorry, because that's the truth. How you handled it wasn't okay. Right. Now we're not talking about the fact that their behavior that led to your reaction wasn't okay. Don't place blame. Take true ownership and accountability for where you messed up.
Okay, James five, verse 16 reminds us to confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed. This builds trust. It shows them how to handle their mistakes with maturity and with grace. Maturity is a huge part of that accountability. Step three, reconnect with comfort and calm. Offer physical connection.
If it's welcomed, a hug, a cuddle, a play break, just sitting close with them. Follow up with something like. I love you. I didn't handle [00:04:00] things the way I wanted to today, and I am really, really sorry. I should have taken a moment to calm down before I responded, and I'll try really hard to do better next time.
I hope that you'll forgive me. This model's unconditional love, just like our father offers us. Step four, invite a fresh start. Say something like, can we take a deep breath, pray together and start over. Another one of my biggest pet peeves of all time, probably because this is how a lot of issues were handled in my house growing up.
When someone totally snaps on you and then there's never a conversation, there's never an apology, there's never a reset, there's never a reconnection. You just. Go back and you act normal. You go back and you act happy. And they're expected to just pretend like that never happened. That does not set our children up for successful conflict revolution or healthy relationships in the future.
So ask them if you can take a deep [00:05:00] breath, ask them if you can pray together. Ask them if they're willing to start over. Reconnect with them. Pay attention. Don't expect them to just forget what you did, because even if they pretend like they forgot that you snapped and lost your cool on them, they didn't forget.
Lamentations three verse 23 says, his mercies are new every morning, and thank God because we need his mercy fresh every single day, and step five, learn together later. Not in the heat of the moment. It's just not good to try to deal with these things in the heat of the moment. Wait until both people are chilled.
You can reflect together. You can ask something like, Hey, what would've helped you feel more supported from me in that moment versus what I did? Is there something that I can do next time that would help you feel better or more understood? In a situation like that? You can ask them, how do you think we can work together next time something like this happens?
Next time I start to [00:06:00] react that way. How do you think we can work together? Figure out something, a strategy. This also empowers them with some self-awareness. It reminds them that you're not perfect and that you're learning too, and that gives them some grace when they mess up and they react to something in a way that they shouldn't have.
Now they know how to handle a situation like that. Friend, hard days do not define you. They don't define your family, but what you do next is very important. So if you're carrying guilt right now, I want to remind you that you are growing and your willingness to reset is shaping a legacy of grace in your home.
Now, this does not in any way, excuse, abuse, verbal, physical. Emotional in any way. We have to get some help if that's the level that we're messing up at, okay? But don't underestimate how powerful your humility and love are in your child's life. Be humble. Admit that [00:07:00] you are not perfect. Admit that you messed up.
Admit that what you did, what you said, how you said it, the tone you used. The volume that you used, admit that it wasn't okay, and that you're sorry, and give them the opportunity to forgive you so that you can raise resilient, connected, grace-filled kids who know what real love and real life looks like.
Staying calm is something that you're working on. Let me invite you to something very special, the free five day challenge to stop yelling at your kids inside. We'll walk through how to identify your biggest triggers, biblical wisdom for emotional regulation, and practical steps to break the cycle of reactive parenting.
That link will be in the description for you to sign up. And you're not in this alone. Let me walk by your side through it, okay? When everything feels like it's falling apart, pause, pray, reset. If that's the only [00:08:00] thing you remember, pause, pray, reset. That will get you through so many things. Not 'cause you failed, but 'cause God's mercies will meet you where you're at and we all need them.
Psalm 51 10 says, create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. You've got this. Let's raise faithful families. One grace-filled reset, one messy day at a time. I'd love for you to subscribe. Leave a review. If you're on a podcast platform, leave me a comment if you're on YouTube and share this with a friend who could really use the encouragement.
I'll see you next time.
