Identity through encouragement
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[00:00:00] Your child is constantly learning who they are, not just from the world, not just from their friends, but from you, the parent that God has entrusted to raise them. The words you say, the encouragement you offer, even the way that you correct them, it all builds the framework of how they see themselves in this world.
And here's the truth, if we don't intentionally build their identity on truth, the world will gladly build it on lies. So today we're diving into how encouragement shapes your child's God given identity. Why what you say and how you say it matters so much. Practical ways to speak into your child's calling, their purpose and their worth.
So let's get started. Hi friends. Welcome back to Raising Faithful Families. I'm your host, Katie Bordeaux, and today's episode is one that I pray will stick with you for years to come. We're talking about building your child's identity through encouragement, because your words aren't just shaping [00:01:00] moments, they're shaping hearts.
They're helping your child understand who they are. Who they are and what they were made for. This isn't just feel good parenting. It's gospel centered parenting. It's partnering with God to raise children who are confident in their identity in Christ, not in the shifting sands of the world. Our kids are constantly asking whether out loud or just in their hearts or their minds, am I enough?
Do I matter? Is there something good inside of me? What am I here for? And the way that we speak to them either answers those questions with life or it's so seeds of doubt. Ephesians two verse 10 says. For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Your child is God's workmanship. They were created on purpose and for a purpose, and you get to be one of the first people to affirm that truth in their lives. [00:02:00] Encouragement isn't about empty praise. It's about calling out the real God-given good that you see in them and anchoring it in truth. So here are three simple but powerful ways to start speaking into your child's identity.
Number one, affirm who they are, not just what they do. Instead of praising achievements like, wow, good job. You got an, A. Focus on the heart posture and character that you see. Like, I love how hard you worked, even when it was tough. You showed so much kindness today. That's who you are, a kind and thoughtful person.
Because achievement fades looks will change. Success will come and go, but identity that's rooted in Godly character will last forever. Number two, connect encouragement to their God-given purpose. When you see glimpses of how God wired them, name it, say God gave you such a [00:03:00] compassionate heart, I can see him using that to help others.
You're so creative. I believe that God can use that creativity to bring beauty into the world. This kind of encouragement will help them link their gifts to God's greater story for them. And number three, model identity security yourself. This one's so important because your child is watching how you talk about yourself too.
If you're constantly tearing yourself down, apologizing or making excuses for who you are or diminishing your gifts. They'll learn insecurity instead, speak confidently about being a beloved child of God. Own your strengths without arrogance, but show what it looks like to live rooted in who God says you are.
We don't build secure children by tearing ourselves down. We do it by living securely in Christ ourselves. I love how authors like Paul David Tripp and gospel centered parenting [00:04:00] highlight that parenting isn't primarily about managing behavior, it's about shepherding hearts. Identity is at the root of behavior when kids know who they are in Christ.
It naturally flows into how they live without any needed control. It's why Jesus didn't just tell the disciples what to do. He reminded them who they were. You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. Identity first, behavior second. That's the model that Jesus gave us, and it's the model that we can bring into our homes.
So here are some simple and powerful phrases that you can start using. God made you special and unique. You are deeply loved. No matter what. God has amazing plans for your life. You were made for great things. I'm so proud of the person that you are, or I'm so proud of the person that you're becoming.
They may not always respond in the moment, but the words are seeds that you're planting and the [00:05:00] seeds will grow. You don't have to get this perfect. You don't have to have the right words all the time, thank God, right? But every time you encourage your child towards truth, every time you speak life into their heart, you're partnering with God in building a foundation that can outlast this season, that's holy work.
And he will equip you for it every step of the way. If you want to build a calmer and more connected home where encouragement flows more naturally than frustration, I wanna invite you to join my free five day challenge to stop yelling at your kids. Inside this challenge, you'll learn how to stay calm, even when it's hard, biblical strategies for emotional regulation, and how to lead your home with peace and grace.
So you can join us at covenantcollections.com slash 5, the number five day, or you can grab the link out of the description. Let's build homes where encouragement, not anger, [00:06:00] shapes the next generation. Words, build worlds, and the words that you speak over your child are laying the foundation for how they'll see themselves for years to come.
Let's be parents who speak life, who call out and call up their identity, and who remind our kids every single day. They are fearfully and wonderfully made. They are deeply and unconditionally loved. And I'll see you next time.
