Discussion is not Disrespect
===
[00:00:00] Why is my child always talking back when I was their age? I would've never spoken to my parents like that. If you feel this way or you ever have felt this way, you are not alone. So many of us were raised to believe that children should be seen and not heard that any response, any disagreement or pushback was automatic disrespect.
What if it's not? What if we've confused discussion with disrespect today? We're digging into a topic that challenges a lot of us because it goes against what many of us were taught growing up. But it's one of the most important mindset shifts that we can make if we want to raise confident, emotionally intelligent kids who can communicate in the real world.
Let's talk about why pushback doesn't always mean rebellion and how to respond with calm, grace, and authority when it does. Hi, friends. Welcome back to Raising Faithful [00:01:00] Families. I'm your host, Katy Bordeaux, and I'm so glad that you're here for this important conversation. Today's episode is all about what happens when your kids push back.
And why it's not always a sign of disrespect. Instead, it's often a sign that they're learning to use their voice, and our job is to create a home where they can do that safely, respectfully, and with the guidance of your correction. This episode will equip you to identify the differences between healthy discussion and actual disrespect.
Model firm respectful boundaries as the adult in the home. Guide your children toward emotional intelligence and confident communication and take a pause when you feel triggered, respond, not react. If this resonates with you, I also have something very helpful to support you on the journey, so stick around.
Let me say this very clearly. Discussion is not [00:02:00] disrespect. We've carried a cultural mindset that kids should just do as they're told without any question, any response, or any feedback. But friend, if we want to raise children who can advocate for themselves, who can think critically, stand up for others, resolve conflict in a healthy way.
Not become a victim in situations that may come up in their lives, then they need to learn how to discuss process and even disagree respectfully. And the safest place for them to learn that is at home. We are their training ground. If they can't learn to speak up respectfully with us, where are they going to practice out in the world where the stakes are higher?
Out in the world where the guidance that they're given is from peers or social media or wherever else that might not align with your values. That's why your home needs to be a place where your kids can practice emotional [00:03:00] expression, be heard, get corrected in love, and become comfortable using their voice.
Now, this does not mean we let everything slide. Not at all. Respect still matters. Respect will always matter. But our job is to model what respectful communication looks like, and that includes holding firm boundaries, teaching respectful tone and timing, redirecting with love. Some phrases that I really like to use are, that wasn't kind.
Can you repeat that respectfully? I've also said. I don't respond when people speak to me that way, and that's okay. Simple, calm, clear. You've now taught your child that their voice matters. Your boundary also matters, and the conversation can still happen. It just needs to happen in a different, better way.
That is emotional intelligence in action. I also wanna encourage you, especially if you have young kids. Do not avoid correcting tone and [00:04:00] disrespect just because they're small. What feels like it's so cute and all the sass at age five will be much more hard to redirect at age 15. So set the precedent, speak truth in love.
Your future self and your child will thank you. But if your child is already older and they already have developed this pattern, don't panic. It is never too late to reset the standard. Just start by sitting down and saying something like, listen, I realize that we've picked up some habits that don't feel right for our family anymore.
I wanna help all of us speak to each other with kindness. Even when we're frustrated, I'm working on it too. There's so much power in simply naming the problem, setting the expectation, and moving forward together. And here's the real heart check for us as parents. Sometimes our child isn't being disrespectful at all.
We're just triggered. Maybe their tone reminds you of how someone once hurt [00:05:00] you. Maybe their questions feel like defiance, but they're really just curious and you're lacking patience. Maybe you're overwhelmed and interpreting everything through stress. That's why we have to ask, am I responding to what they said or am I reacting to something unresolved in me?
This is exactly why emotional regulation is so important, and if this is an area that you struggle with, I have something that can help. If you have good intentions, but still feel like sometimes you struggle to respond respectfully yourself, I promise you'll feel so much better on the other side of my free five day, no more yelling challenge.
Inside this free challenge, you'll discover how to identify and manage your triggers. Encouragement for calm and connected parenting practical tools to break reactive cycles and lead with peace. It's a hundred percent free and it's already helped hundreds of parents begin the journey to calm our Christ-centered parenting.
[00:06:00] You can join today at www.covenantcollections.com/five day with the number five, or the link will be in the description. Your child will push back sometimes. Just understand that that doesn't mean they're developing disrespectful habits. It doesn't mean that you're failing. It means that they're growing and you are the safe place that they get to grow in.
So hold your boundaries with love, model, calm, respectful communication. And remember that you are their guide. When you show them that their voice matters and that respect is a requirement, you're raising someone who can make a difference in the world with wisdom and compassion, which is something the world could certainly use a lot more of.
Thank you for joining me today on Raising Faithful Families. If this episode encouraged you, please take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, share it with a friend. Friends, I have one more thing that I really wanna speak with you about today. It's a little [00:07:00] off topic of where we normally go with this discussion.
However, it is very much on brand and it is very important. I. One thing that I am very, very passionate about in general is protecting the vulnerable and the innocent children. And many children are victims of trafficking or victims of child pornography. And if you're familiar with Tim Tebow's Foundation, they do a lot of work to help reduce this and help save children that are being victimized in the world.
So I want to also add a link in my description where you can go onto the Tim Tebow Foundation website. And send a letter to your congressman, asking them to sign this act into place that will help identify the unidentified children that are being seen across child pornography. It is a huge problem, I promise.
No matter how bad you think it is, it is worse. Your voice is needed in this fight. It will just take you seconds. The [00:08:00] letter is already written. All you have to do is click a couple of buttons and I will put that link in the description. So please, please, if you're listening to this episode, take the time to do that.
Also, share it on your social media. If the 400 people that listen to this episode, share that on their page and could get to a hundred to 400 people more to sign it, think how much of an impact you're having in this situation, in this world. For innocent children that need our help. Thank you. God bless.
